Discovering a New Phrase Thank You by Michael Rosner

Aug 21 '12

Thank You-A Newly Minted Phrase? By Michael Rosner

Thank(s) - to express feelings of gratitude to somebody or be grateful to somebody- Encarta

It never ceases to amaze me how people, self included, take things for granted. Whether it’s going to a supermarket or on a bus, finishing speaking with a service agent etc, the words “thank you” seems impossible to come by these days. Even when texting, TY, would be nice! Now don’t get me wrong, not everyone deserves or wants a thank you, but saying thank you not only shows respect and gratitude to a service well done, it also makes you feel good. That’s right, if everything in your world is about “you”, than uttering this simple phrase will make YOU feel good.

I try to say thank you these days to everyone and everything that happens. If someone bags my groceries, when I get off a bus I say thanks or have a great day etc. Why do I do this?  Well it’s free! I mean how many things in life can you do free that makes you (and others) feel good? Also the concept of treating your neighbor the same way you would want to be treated is applicable. Finally the infectious feeling that is stirred up really does transpire and spreads.

Interestingly, I started to say thank you to people I don’t particularly like. Why? Well, the “it’s free” approach applies here as well. But counter-intuitively it also is my way of communicating my irritation and pushing back. For instance when someone is obnoxious or overtly critical I say thanks. This accomplishes many things. First, on most occasions, it leaves the person speechless and confused. They don’t know how to respond to someone giving thanks after admonishing you. It feels like speaking with the phone company.  You know what I mean. You call them up because you’re having a problem and you scream your head off as they “aks”(ax) you what your problem is and then they have the audacity to answer you calmly; which makes you even more crazy! Also there are inherent times that if we actually listen to what the person says a thank you  maybe deserving no matter how obnoxious the message was delivered (well sort of).

I tell you what makes me unsettled when it comes to thank you's. There is an “it’s coming to me” attitude from a whole lot of people. I experience this daily at the Job Board. From people sending cover letters and resumes in response to a posted job without acknowledging where they saw  the job posted (which actually benefits them because of our employer connections) but is also a thank you to the Job Board.  People who often get jobs and don’t even let us know (19.8% of people get jobs off the Job Boardaccording to our latest survey) and employers who don’t acknowledge hiring people from the Job Board (38.8% of employers hire people from the Job Board) are silent. Why is this so?  I think the “it's coming to me” syndrome takes affect. YOUR moving forward is all that matters; who helped you? well that’s past history. The “it's coming to me” turns into “what have you done for me lately”. I know for a fact that I and my staff never expect or even want a thank you. I mean it’s nice when we get one, I won’t deny that, but that is not what we aspire towards. We look for success stories to celebrate your progress; a new job that allows you to earn a living and proudly rejoin your community. We think this is a blessing and we all like to share and hear about it. It has nothing to do with getting a thank you but everything to do with sharing your success. It acknowledges and makes sacred our work, just as it gives pride to others when you acknowledge them as well. So please the next time you go to the store, get off a bus, get a job, go to kiddush, visit your Rabbi , school etc say the words that truly makes a difference not only your life but in the lives of others. THANK YOU

Now that was easy! Now go practice in the mirror and start doing this today!